i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
