I wish I could punch you in the face.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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