Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
