isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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