i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
