Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
