yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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