And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I touched a dick in church today
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
