the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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