I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
