So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
