its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
