he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
