We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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