Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
