yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
