i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
