Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
