im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
This is the high leading the old right now
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
