Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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