she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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