you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Randomize
