I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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