Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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