HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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