Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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