I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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