Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize