billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
