Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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