just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
