Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
