I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
