dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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