I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
