I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
