And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
