You just made me feel so damn special
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
