I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize