my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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