And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
