With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
