I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
