On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
even my farts smell like vagina
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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