just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
