hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I've blown a few things in my day
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
