The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
