All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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