dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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