Sry I called you an 8
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
