the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
