until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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