Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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