this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize