yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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