Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Randomize
