She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
